Getting Over Overwhelm
September finds us once again hovering between times of ending and beginning.
Summer is slowly fading, students are back to school. The holiday season remains at arm’s length—just close enough to make deadlines feel a touch heavier. And despite our best efforts, we return from our vacations to bloated inboxes and that feeling of being unfinished.
Whatever your September moment is, you might find yourself feeling already behind before you’ve begun, or unready to leave behind what you’ve just experienced.
Before too long, we can find ourselves in a familiar state called overwhelm.
So we write to you today with some thoughts on overwhelm. We hope you’ll take up this offering so that you can practice identifying overwhelm when it arises, interrupting its patterns, and finding your center.
What is Overwhelm?
Overwhelm is a state of being that ____. Generally, these feelings may be coupled with self-doubt, and a sense of not knowing how to move forward.
The exact causes of overwhelm are as unique as the features that give shape to your world. But in general, overwhelm tends to arise from the overloading or over-volunteering of the self. That is to say: inattention to boundaries. And overwhelm is even more likely to show up during a time of change, like back to school, a holiday, a major life event, or a major political or social change. Overwhelm doesn’t always come from negative or stressful experiences—it can arise from a variety of sources, whether happy or challenging.
Overwhelm can feel and look like any of the following reactions, and some may be more noticeably active for you than others:
Collision of many negative feelings at once - You might notice that your emotions seem to have a compounding effect, creating a distorted or outsized sense of what you really need. This might give you the feeling of time closing in on you, possibly increasing irritation and reducing your 'fuse'.
Changes in sleep, food, social patterns - Once you notice changes in behavior, this is a good sign that you’re overwhelmed. What are the usual behavior changes that you notice when you’re overwhelmed? Do you eat more, or less? Do you offer help more frequently than normal? Do you leave text messages from loved ones unanswered?
Your “No” is harder to find - Often when overwhelmed, we ironically find ourselves adding more to the pile, telling ourselves we have to say yes to that next thing as though overwhelm is a necessary and unavoidable state for achieving our goals.
Concentration or confidence drop and worry grows - As the list of things and worries continues to grow, our insecurities tend to be accessed. Imposter syndrome, self-doubt, and isolation are fed by overwhelm, and soon the ability to take things one step at a time starts to feel superhuman.
Headaches, muscle and digestion issues arise, and fatigue stays - The physical manifestation of overwhelm can vary, but its importance can’t be overstated. How does overwhelm live in your body? How do you know?
Managing Overwhelm: An Offering
Take some time to reflect on how overwhelm tends to manifest in you. And the next time it arises, we invite you to use Jasmine Khanani’s PB² formula to mitigate the impacts of overwhelm and recenter yourself.
It takes less than 5 minutes to:
Pause: Stop and notice… become aware that in these moments we are not our usual selves. Softly say to yourself in single words what you notice about how your overwhelm is showing up. (Worry. Irritation. Tight stomach…)
Irrational stories also begin spreading in us during overwhelm. The first step is to simply notice.
Breathe: Build up to long, deep, slow belly breathing for 90 seconds with eyes closed. Focus only on the movement of the air as you breathe.
Practice: Practice compassion for self for two minutes: while maintaining an easy and deep belly breath – try keeping your eyes closed, and smile gently – all over your body… yes, actually smile to yourself, while keeping your awareness on your breath.
Begin: Open your eyes and begin again. Now, from this new presence, choose the way forward for yourself… from this more centered and aware self.
Repeat again as you need.
You don’t need to wait until the next time overwhelm arises—you can practice this technique when you are faced with something easier. In those 'little' moments you catch yourself on the outskirts of overwhelm, take the time to engage this technique. This way, when a bigger moment comes along you'll be ready.
Stay Connected
Remember that attending to your connections is another way to ensure that the isolating feelings of overwhelm don’t overrun you.
Be sure to reach out for professional help when you need it
Share this link to the Wayfinding Wellbeing newsletter with someone you think will benefit
Take a look at the resources below for additional support
Please note: Wayfinding Partners does not provide health care or medical services and does not diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease, or condition.